baby, when I see you I get the atrial fibs

Oh yes. Yes we did.

Once upon a December afternoon, Adam, Prissi, and Melissa were walking out of the third auscultation lab thinking, “Hey, Dr. Werner was soooo beatboxing there… we so have to write a heart sounds rap! … omg, we should call ourselves ‘Uncle Lenny and the Stethophones!’” whereupon a resident or attending or some senior medical professional of some sort, who was walking in front of our illustrious trio, turned around and said, “You guys need to get a life.” Instead, Adam and Prissi wrote “Listen to my Heart” off a beat tossed to them by Iggy with the help of Melissa, and performed it together with the last minute help of Gordon and Ryan at the School of Medicine’s retreat on September 27, 2008, whereupon they won first place for comedy performance.

Prissi actually emailed Dr. Werner to ask if she could call him “Uncle Lenny” for the purposes of this rap. His response? “No problem. I have no more dignity anyway.” Next steps: ??? and profit! Above all, may no first year ever fail auscultation on the first try ever again!

The Stethophones are: Docta’ Stelling, Lil’Suga, Murq, G-dawg, and 2tone. We wear lab coats and massive amounts of bling stethoscopes. We are awesome.

listen to my heart (the auscultation song)
Uncle Lenny & The Stethophones

S3 can be heard in high volume states
when in early diastole the extra blood creates
a situation where the ventricle inflates
beyond what the heart can handle on its plate

my heart overflows with so much blood
it’s coming back down through the mitral valve just like a flood
baby, I need you, this much I know is true
through all of systole this blood flows for you

bored one day and I want to get ill
so I went to the clinic and palpated a thrill
the septum was bad and she had cyanosis
a VSD was my diagnosis

chronic aortic regurg murmurs are thick
early diastolic, midsystolic, Austin Flint
with wide pulse pressure ‘n’ waterhammer pulse
hyperdynamic is the apical impulse

listen to my heart but don’t lose your head
baby, just take a breath, remember what I said
please don’t think of this with nothing but dread
baby, I know you’ll pwn auscultation instead

S4 is the sound of atrial contraction
against a stiff ventricle — myocardial infarction
give it up! S4 needs a-on-v action
down in late diastole, here comes HOCM

ejection sound, yeah? baby, reasons I have two
vascular, valvular? semilunar valves through
pulmonary hypertension — turns out, who knew?
or too much blood through a stenotic valve flew?

baby, when I see you I get the atrial fibs
I got dibs to hear stenosis between your first and second ribs
crescendo, decrescendo, that’s how we roll
this aortic valve creates a turbulent flow

so the left ventricle has hypertrophy?
Valsalva enhances the sound in this disease
a well-filled ventricle keeps the patient awesome
one more time let’s hear it for HOCM

listen to my heart but don’t lose your head
baby, just take a breath, remember what I said
please don’t think of this with nothing but dread
baby, I know you’ll pwn auscultation instead

baby, you’re my MVP
and not the three sounds in systole
now I’ve got DOE from my left V getting squeezed
can’t you see, this tamponade is getting to me

listen to my heart but don’t lose your head
baby, just take a breath, remember what I said
please don’t think of this with nothing but dread
baby, I know you’ll pwn auscultation instead

O-snap! yeah, hear the AV valve open
stenosis of the valve makes the sound bolden

mitral stenosis gets the rumbles mid-diastolic
’cause the right ventricle’s gettin’ mighty thick
usually begins with an opening snap
up to the carotids, right next to the straps

listen to my heart but don’t lose your head
baby, just take a breath, remember what I said
please don’t think of this with nothing but dread
baby, I know you’ll pwn auscultation instead

Written by: Adam Stelling, Priscilla Chee, and Melissa Urquhart
© 2008 Uncle Lenny & The Stethophones

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